Kyle Kocsis Memorial Guest Blog

Snow Boarders Heaven

Fri, 30 Jan 2026 07:41:01 GMT

Snow Boarder's Heaven

I had this overwhelming desire to go for a drive towards Mt. Baker and explore some back roads. I was driving a small stick shift car like the Ford Fiesta Cindy owned when we were first dating. Cindy and I pulled over at a small convenience store at the base of the mountain and went inside asking for back country maps with logging roads. The store was filled with skiers and snowboarders sharing stories of their triumphant rad day cutting through Mt. Baker’s freshest powder. The store clerk seemed confused as to why we would be travel up the mountain so late in the afternoon as dusk was setting in. I explained that I felt compelled to go searching for something, not yet knowing what I would find. He informed me that he had no such maps for sale, put had an old mountain area map framed on the back wall from the old mining days at the turn of the century that I could take a look at. It happened to be near the bathroom, as there was a long line waiting for the facilities. I studied the old map trying to find my bearings and noticed a few secondary side roads I had never noticed before.

We decided to venture out, as it was a cold winter’s evening and the snow began to fall. The traffic out of the store parking lot was backed up bumper to bumper with red tail lights not moving, just staying solid red. So I decided to pull around them and take a back way out behind the store driving by a collection of old rusted out mining equipment that must have been historic artifacts from a museum, now forgotten decaying in the weather. The old dirt road at first paralleled the long the main road with the long line of cars , but as the snow fell harder and the dark evening was setting in, the red tail lights of the cars began to fade away in the distance. I could tell Cindy was nervous and wanted to turn around. I empathically said we need to continue down his road and see what we could discover. We drove slowly in the packed snow that seemed like a tunnel from the tree canopy overhead. It was peacefully beautiful and inviting as we drove deep and deeper into the woods not seeing the night sky or even moonlight. The head lights of the car reflected off each snowflake like its unique miracle that sparkled back at us luring us further and further away from civilization.

After what seemed for hours, but may have only been minutes we came across a clearing that looked down into a valley. The snow had stopped and now the moon was ever present lighting up the sky and reflected on the snow below. There were small specs of orange lights below us, but we couldn’t identify it from the car. We had reached the end of the road and had to get out of the car to identify this undiscovered territory. Once again, Cindy, expressed her reluctance of continuing on and I convinced her to trust me as this journey was as important to her as it was to me. Far in the distance down into the valley we could see people around several campfires having a great time. Some skiers, bust mostly snowboarders were celebrating their awesomeness, much more enthusiastically than their counterparts in the store hours earlier. As we walked through the crowd of dozens of winter enthusiasts we were greeted with the friendliest smiles and nods like they were familiar with us and expecting us. The snow was calf deep as we continued our trek through the mini groups of people celebrating their victories over the mountain. The sky was filled with stars, too many to count. Though the fires brought light, it didn’t seem to melt the snow below it as I had experienced on many past Boy Scout winter camping trips in the past. I couldn’t understand how this many people could get this far away into the wilderness. There were no roads, but the one we took, no other vehicles, snow mobiles or even cabins. How would everyone get back I thought for a moment? Then I saw the back of a familiar yellow parka. It was the old A&B Railroad jacket my father gave me that I loaned it to Kyle many years before. I would recognize it anywhere. But I remember Kyle told me it gave it to a homeless person that was sleeping on a park bench one cold evening in Bellingham because they needed more than he did. Could this be the same homeless person? Or had it been passed on a few times. Maybe this individual knew Kyle or had a story to share about him as I was desperate to learn any new detail about Kyle’s life since it had been nearly two years that Kyle graduated to heaven.

Then I froze in my tracks as a familiar sound I had not heard in years caught my attention. It was a giggle that sounded just like Kyle. And I thought for a moment, could it be, surely not, my ears are playing tricks on me. I want it so bad to be Kyle, that I’m now hearing things to so as to wish it to reality. I let go of holding Cindy’s hand as we approached this tall young man and tapped him on the shoulder. I noticed this young man’s long blond hair was wrapped in a familiar bun I once saw in a previous dream. When the young man turned around, It was Kyle!….our Kyle!…our son! Kyle had the biggest smile on his face and gave each one of us the biggest hug and squeezed us so long that if we were tooth paste, it would have been emptied. I could speak no more as I was in shock, but Cindy was present in the moment. And then when Kyle spoke and were heard his voice, there was no doubt it was him. Next I thought, could his passing have been a dream? After the extended squeezing hug he gave his mother he spoke saying, “ I’m am so glad you find me. I tried my best to leave you crumbs of hints to search for this place so we can see each other again. I knew dad that you would follow the clues like all those treasure hunts you did for Alexander and me when we were kids. I wanted you to bring Mom here so I could give her a Mother’s Day hug, because I knew she needed one from me. Thank you for bringing her to me.”

I had to interrupt and ask Kyle, “How is this possible? How did you get here? And where are we? I don’t recognize this valley.” Kyle responded, “This is ‘Snowboarder’s Heaven’. When I made it to heaven I connected up with a bunch of snowboarders and we travel all over the world snowboarding down the best hills God ever created. I wanted to bring the group back to my home mountain to show it off to them, and see the both of you. I’m sure glad you made it Dad.” “Me to.” I exclaimed. “Tell us more of what you have been through since we saw you last?”

I don’t remember all the details about our conversation that fateful evening by the fireside that lasted late into the night, but I do remember Kyle was very excited and happy with his eternal life in heaven and would explain all the magnificent beauty he has witnessed since he moved on. He would talk about all the wonders he discovered and explored and how he also stayed with us always seeing what we were doing, playing little tricks by sending us messages to see if we would catch them. Kyle mentioned how his Nagypapa met in him the moment he arrived in heaven and introduced him to all our family that arrived to heaven before him. Kyle’s epic heavenly stories seemed to go on for countless hours explaining in such great details the wonders and beautiful paradise we call heaven. After hours of conversation late into the night, Cindy began to doze off wrapped in Kyle’s arms by the warm fire. I didn’t want the night to end, I just wanted to hear more about Kyle’s amazing experiencing – he was never this talkative before. Yet here he was in the flesh right in front of me sitting on a log stump telling stories of heaven like an old wise man. I hung on for a few more hours and started noticing that all the other snow boarders were fading away into the darkness, leaving just Kyle and I chatting around a camp fire like our old Scouting camping trip days.

At some point, I don’t know when I must have dozed off too, as I awoke with snow falling on my face and holding Cindy in my arms. It was the first time I started to feel the cold. It seemed like early morning and the sun cast this deep pink color on the snowy mountain side. As I looked around me, there were no signs of the dozens of camp fires from the night before, no tracks in the snow. The falling snow must have buried the evidence I thought to myself. All I could see was a faint view of Cindy’s Ford Fiesta’s side mirror being the only part of her car exposed and not buried in the snow. I woke Cindy up and asked her, if she remembered last night, and she said of course we were with Kyle. I asked, “But how is that possible?’” She said it doesn’t matter – it happened and I’m holding on to it.” I agreed and commented, “we better get out of here before the snow gets too deep and we can’t drive out of here.” We hiked the 15 minutes up the hill back to the car. It started up right away as I brushed all the snow off of it. As I turned the car around and made our way back, we experienced the same dark tunnel of snow under the canopy of trees. We drove for at least an hour. There were no forks to make turning decisions on. We just followed the same road back trusting it would take us back to the store.

Once we got back to the store it was still kind of dark with the red brake lights still illuminating the parking lot. I commented to Cindy that there must be a bad accident or avalanche that was blocking the road for this back up to still be here the next day. I convinced Cindy we should go inside to grab a bite to eat as we had not eaten since the morning before. As we walked through the front door, the store clerk greeted us once again. I thought it was odd he worked late the night before and then again for the early morning shift, but figured he must have been stranded also. Then his question caught me by surprise, which questioned my reality. “Did you find the map in the back I told you about before this huge crowd of customers got in here?” he said. I hesitated, confused by the timeline with in his question and exclaimed, “You bet I Found it! We took the road behind the store through the old ruined mining equipment and followed it for hours last night and found this beautiful paradise people called ‘Snow Boarders Heaven’.” At that moment, everyone in the store, stopped what they were doing, turned around in silence and looked at me in shock. No one made a sound. It was like I triggered some deep serious intimate response. Then continued, “What’s the matter?” the store clerk wiped his hand in his dish towel and came toward me from behind the counter and said, “Listen my friend, you came into my store a an hour ago looking for a map for some back roads when I told you to look in the back. We don’t have a collection of ruined old mining equipment behind our store, let alone a long old logging road.” I was dumb founded and told him to follow me, I opened what I thought was a back door which if my bearing would be correct should have lead me straight to a pile of rusted out old mining junk and the road to Snowboarder’s Heaven. Instead, to my disbelief, the door opened to the back of the store that only had a garbage dumpster, a couple of modern day out houses and a wall of old skis made into a fence blocking off the back of the property that I had never seen before. “This doesn’t make any sense!” as I ran my fingers up my face through my hair. I looked to Cindy for confirmation that I wasn’t going crazy, and she smiled acknowledging that she remembered the events of the night before like I did. I went back inside and sat down on a keg right next to the back door. The store clerk continued, “You are not the first person to mention “Snowboarders Heaven”. Many a snow boarder has been searching for decades for such a snowy powder paradise, and only a few have experienced it all stating that a lost loved one led them to it, but was never found again. The legend is as old as this mountain.” Cindy thanked the clerk and took my hand leading me outside back to the car which was once again covered by snow, by now the red tail lights of traffic were moving and less crowded. We started back down the road sharing our memories of the night before exactly in sync. As we approached closer to Bellingham, I was feeling more tired and my eyes became heavy and I closed them, what seemed like only for a moment. When I opened them again, I was in bed on Mother’s day morning excited to tell Cindy about my dream with our son Kyle.

As remembered by Kyle’s dad

Konrad Kocsis

May 8, 2022

Kyle's Feathers

Fri, 30 Jan 2026 07:40:55 GMT

KYLE'S FEATHERS

Every week or so I would drive through Bay view Cemetery in Bellingham and visit Kyle’s Memorial Bench. On one sunny warm August afternoon in 2022 I drove by on my way home from work and wanted to sit on his bench and just be at peace in silence with my son. When I pulled up I leaped out of my car to notice an unusually long grey feather resting in the center of his black bench. I picked it up and sat down wondering what bird it could come from because it was so large, at least 14” in length. I figured someone walking by must have placed it there for him and I appreciated the thoughtful kind gesture. After telling Kyle the highlights of my week I placed the feather back on the center of the bench and drove home not really giving it much more thought. In fact I do not recall even mentioning to my wife Cindy. The next day I had to swing into Lowes hardware store to pick something up for work. I parked in the middle of the parking lot away from most of the cars and thought I would take advantage of the few extra steps in the warm sunshine. As I stepped out of my work car I naturally looked down to the ground where I was about to step, and to my surprise there was another long 14” grey feather, uniquely similar to the one I just saw the day before at Kyle’s bench. At first I thought maybe it had somehow stuck to the car and traveled here with me. What are the odds of seeing two larger than normal feathers two days in a row that I have never seen before? I simply thought what a coincidence – there must be some large naked bird out there flying around losing its feathers. I smiled and chuckled about that thought as I entered the store. By the time I came out of the store I forgot all about it as I was on a work phone call stepping back into my car.

That evening, I casually mentioned the two feathers to Cindy at dinner and we both just shrugged it off to something weird, not giving it the attention it deserved. A couple of days later I took Friday afternoon off from work to go Sea Kayaking with my buddy Mark. We launched from a beach on Fidalgo island and was crossing Guemes Channel on our way for a weekend camping trip on Cypress Head Island. Once we got out of the boat traffic lanes, we slowed down to rest and paused a bit to chit chat in the middle of the beautiful San Juan Islands. We had only stopped for a few minutes when I just gulped a big breath of air as right between us in the middle of the ocean a large 14” grey feather floated by. I was speechless and in shock. I quickly changed our conversation and shared my recent experience with Mark that all began at Kyle’s Bench with an identical large grey feather on a few days before. We were both convinced that this was a message from Kyle. It warmed my heart that he would and could make such an effort to get my attention in this physical world I thought he was no longer a part of. My spirit was just glowing and soaring for the rest of that weekend. When I got home and told Cindy, she said that was definitely Kyle and after researching a few sources we learned and confirmed that feathers are a typical sign of our loved ones reaching out to us. After that I would tell the story of Kyle’s 3 feathers to anyone who would listen, always emphasizing how oddly long each feather was. I still tell this story several times per year gleaming with pride that my son Kyle IS still alive in heaven communicating to us from the spirit world.

Feathers continued……..A few years later, I was working at my work office desk on cold winter Friday afternoon in February of 2025 when I dropped a pen under my desk that required me getting on my hands and knees and crawling under the desk to retrieve it. As I reached for my pen, right next to it was the tiniest perfect little grey feather, the size of my pinky finger nail.

I have never seen a feather so perfectly small. I think it was Kyle toying with me again as I had just recently told the 3 “Super Long” feathers story to someone the week before and Kyle would think it would be funny to send me another sign , but the extreme opposite using the tiniest little feather. I did not have the fore thought to keep the first 3 long feathers, just leaving them in nature, but that miniature feather is still on my desk and I often stare at it on wonder because I do not have anything in my office that could have feathers in it, that it could have come from; especially that small and so perfect.

Thank you Kyle – I love you too. Dad.

MAP TO KYLE'S BENCH

Feather in the grass, in line with Konrad at the Memorial Race "Be The Change For Kyle 2023".

- Photo taken by Heidi Powell

Should you mention the child to a parent who's grieving?

Sun, 20 Mar 2022 00:52:46 GMT

I can't tell you how much it warms my heart when people remember Kyle!! We went to visit his bench last night, and someone put flowers there! What a wonderful surprise!! Thank you so very much to whomever did that--just knowing you're thinking of him too makes us so very happy!

AND, my good friend Kori Thornton made this heart pillow in memory of Kyle! I was so happy when she gave it to me a few days ago!! It says, "Kyle was so amazing God made him an Angel" Kori's son Tim and Kyle were really good friends throughout middle school, high school, and remained close and always kept in contact. They were snowboarding buddies and both loved to play chess. Here's a photo of them in 2008 playing chess

Kori and I have had a few conversations about the topic--and I know it's a tough one--do you mention that child to a parent who's grieving? I certainly wouldn't have known either--but I've heard it so many times now it just can't be me, and it must be so very true--Just hearing the name of our loved one who has passed is MUSIC to our ears! That's how I feel and that's exactly how other mothers have described it! I know--you hate to bring up the subject and worry it will make us sad. But guess what? We think about them all the time already. And just hearing a memory or his name, or seeing a gesture like the flowers is just so heartwarming and uplifting--I really can't describe it. So Thank You Kori and wonderful person(s) who added flowers to Kyle's bench this week!!

Written by Kyle's mother - Cindy Kocsis

In memory of Kyle. This beautiful pillow was handmade by Kori Thornton ❤️

January 8, 2008

Kyle Kocsis and Tim Thornton playing chess.

A Wonderful surprise when we visited Kyle's bench! Someone brought flowers!

Thank you! ❤️

I Miss You Today & Everyday

Fri, 04 Jun 2021 04:52:08 GMT

My Dear Kyle,

I miss you today and everyday. I have pictures of you in every room. When I Think of you I try to remember all the wonderful times we had together. Now you are in heaven and would like to think you are with Nagypapa looking down to us. May God's peace be with you.

You are in my heart for ever,

love Nagymama

Kyle and Nagymama (Grandmother Kocsis )

Rocks painted by Nagymama - Katie Kocsis in Abbotsford Canada

Nagypapa's (Grandfather), Kyle and Nagymama (Grandmother)

Kyle's rocks placed at Nagypapa's (Grandfather's) grave site on his birthday.

They are in heaven together now .

Till We Meet Again

Mon, 31 May 2021 10:45:39 GMT

Dear Kyle,

In the beginning, just thinking I could be a Grandma was such a joy.

Looking forward to your arrival was my go-to topic; whenever I had a chance to get it into a conversation. I am sure my clients at work were as excited as I was. What an exciting time when you arrived. Of course, you being so laid back you didn’t make it an easy entrance for our daughter and Mother to be. We all had some very stressful hours waiting for your arrival.

Oh my gosh, your parents had worked so hard getting everything ready for you. Your room was a many many hours plan and work for your parents. Every detail was planned and figured out.

You had many visitors and well-wishers. You were such a delight.

As you were a bit older, you loved to hear animal stories. When you saw a photo of a lion you said ROAR, That was what the lion did so that became your name for lion. It was adorable.

I guess I have to say, Kyle, you were able to enjoy the moment all thru your life. So many times we really enjoyed the music and band; judo and knew you were having a good time. Whatever you were doing, you saw the positive side.

Saying goodbye has been so difficult. I know you felt all our love, I miss your little notes and messages; my last one was Mothers Day.

Till we meet again,

hugs from Grandma.

He Will Not Be Forgotten

Sun, 30 May 2021 10:56:57 GMT

Dear Kyle’s family,

I regret that I never met this young man, but I feel that this website allowed me a glimpse into his amazing life and personality. As his parents, I hope you can be blessed with a degree of solace knowing that your son touched so many people in a positive way during the days he was here, and even now as he will not be forgotten.

Hugs, Theresa

Here one day and...

Fri, 07 May 2021 07:26:53 GMT

Dear Kyle,

I just can’t believe you are just gone forever just like that, so fast.

Here one day and gone the next.

No more huge tight Kyle hugs? Or your thoughtful gifts, and no more deep meaningful conversations?

Just gone doesn't seem possible.

How can time keep moving forward if you are not here?

Instead of Holidays and Family Gatherings we are left with Angel Days (death anniversaries) and Birthdays that will never happen again for you, and we are left with questions. ???

Where are you now?

Are you ok? Better? HAPPY?

Did we love you enough?

Did you feel our love?

What could we have done differently?

What could I have said or done?

Maybe something I should have not done or said?

Question, Question, Question

So now I’m left wondering. I look for you here and sometimes I can catch a glimpse of someone who reminds me so much of you that I just…stop. I see you in young men who are traveling from place to place and look like they haven't been home for a while.

I see you in the kind gestures of others.

In my mind I see you when I am awake and sometimes when I am lucky in my dreams--We will all be sitting around a table eating, talking or playing games, we are all camping. You are there in the dream with us, just like you never left. I try to hold onto the happiness it gives me, to believe you never left us, into my waking day; but your absence is too profound for that.

Since you did leave, I am trying hard every single day in life to Be The Change. I am trying for you, and also for myself. It really helps me feel better to see some good in the world because we've been in short supply this last year for sure.

You were so much to so many.

You are missed always.

Love you Forever Kyle,

Auntie Christina Betty

April 2021

No Words

Fri, 10 Jul 2020 08:11:48 GMT

Kyle,

Words cannot easily express the pain and grief I feel when I think of you passing. It is something I know I will carry with me for the rest of my life. Yet this pain is lightened by the knowledge that your memory will live through me and many others. Your humor, curiosity, kindness, and honesty are qualities that I, and everyone who knew you, will remember forever. I must admit though, that it is things like your giggles, your smiles, your puns, our conversations and especially your hugs that I will miss most. It breaks my heart to know that any child of mine will never meet you, but I know the stories and memories I share with them will unite you with them all the same. I promise to carry you with me Kyle, from wondrous sights, family occasions, life events and more, you will be present in memory and spirit, this I know. Thank you for all your lessons, thank you for inspiring me to be true to myself as you were to yourself. I love you.

~ Always and forever your little brother and friend, Alexander

Love You

Tue, 30 Jun 2020 10:35:08 GMT

What an amazing opportunity to bond with Kyle from the beginning when I babysat him. From there my love only grew each time I saw him for sleepovers and game nights at our home. Kyle had a joy for life and was invested in play or conversation. Kyle was intellectually smart, but more importantly kind, thoughtful, generous, honest and loved well. I hold onto the memories as I miss him so much. Thankful for his faith in Jesus so that we know he is enjoying eternity with the one true God who loves him so much.

Love you Kyle. ~ Aunt Christine